By frockadvisor May 17, 2016 in Life

6 emotional stages of a first date

Going on a first date can be daunting, that’s just a fact of life. It’s not on the same level as going for a job interview, but it certainly can be stressful. When one is on a first date they tend to overthink everything, from the conversation to how you look – everything appears as if it is being inspected under a microscope.

”Oh god, why am I always late?”

The sheer panic of showing up late prompts you to arrive 45 minutes prior the time you agreed on. Now you look like you’re super thirsty. Kudos you.

”Is there something on my face?”

Questions such as ”Have I contoured so much that my date will walk right past me?” and ”There’s probably €5’s worth of MAC lipstick on my teeth” zip around through your mind.

The date arrives – you begin to panic.

Why are you panicking? You’re the one who arranged this thing! You’ve got this, you are a charming 21st century gal who is naturally interesting.

”What will I order?”

Some people tend to opt for a salad when they’re on a date, but you haven’t eaten since breakfast and this wine is already making you feel fun. You need carbs – you opt for pasta. And more wine.

Conversation and the rigmarole

The entire construct of a date is flawed. At its core it’s just two people sitting at a table trying to impress one another with a sequence of lies. You pretend to be less selfish, you even boast how you started you’re own ”Not for Profit” campaign – all lies. How do you sleep at night?

The Goodbye

Oh god, do I hug? Is shaking hands too clinical? Should I be a sophisticate and do the whole Mediterranean cheek kiss thing? No, instead you opt for an awkward handshake hug in which you hand becomes pressed against your date’s crotch and you reside to the fact you will die alone.

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