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Caffeine detox – Expetation vs. Reality

caffeine detox
Caffeine addiction is probably the only socially acceptable addictions that society tolerates. Walk down any street in any city and chances are you’ll see people guzzling a large coffee to go, or you’ll walk past a coffee shop – without knowing it you’ll probably pop in and treat yourself. Some brave souls out there even do the impossible. They attempt to give up caffeine all together. But caffeine is rather insidious, it’s not just relegated to tea and coffee. There’s caffeine in Diet Coke, some pain killers (which is annoying because you’ll need pain relief when the caffeine withdrawals kick in) and even our good friend chocolate contains caffeine. Here are the expectations and the unfortunate realities of going cold turkey with caffeine.  

Day One



You’re optimistic, tired, but optimistic. You can do this. You make a hot water with a slice of fresh lemon – delicious (who are you kidding).  


Mmmm hot bitter water, what a perfect way to start a Monday. A cup of misery coupled with a mild headache.  

Lunch time

  Expectation You have a decaf herbal tea in some vain attempt to feel better about your decision to do this detox   Reality You have a pounding headache. It’s one of those headaches that you get after drinking champagne. The withdrawal is real.  


  Expectation You haven’t had a drop of coffee all day so you decide to hit the hay early – a solid 9 hours sleep will make everything better.   Reality Sleep will never happen, your body is still going through caffeine withdrawal. You lie in the dark, awake for 8 hours, with a crippling headache waiting for the sweet release of death.  


  Expectation You think you’ll get so much more work done since you wont be running out for coffee every hour/running to the loo after having aforementioned coffees. You will kick ass, break balls and get the job done!   Reality You’re tired, weak, cranky and inhaling sugary snacks for energy. You’ve also consumed a loaf of bread. Detoxes are a farce.  

Working Out

  Expectation My body is a temple, no impurities will enter my body. I am a shining example of health.   Reality You have zero energy and 5 day headache. You can’t go on.  

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