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Fashion Horoscope

Fashion horoscope mystic meg
Mystic Peig has curated your fashion horoscopes for the week, read them and weep.  Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd) Celebrity Cancer – Ariana Grande Ariana Grande concert There’s been a stirring within you young Cancer, a nagging feeling that you are out of the loop when it comes to fashion. That criminal ensemble you wore to the office last week turned heads for all the wrong reasons. You need to go back to basics and learn from the best. As fashionable Jupiter eclipses daring saturn this week, it’s time you kick your look up a notch or 2. Get inspiration from these MODEL’S INSTAGRAM’S.   Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd)  Celebrity Leo – Demi Lovato Demi Lovato red carpet They say a Leo scorned is a force to reckoned with and my god are you angry! Please listen to me Leo, I want to channel this rage into bettering yourself. We all know that you are fabulous, I just want you to maintain that fabulousness that you have. After all, a hot body is the best form of revenge. A personal trainer with brown hair will sweep you off your feet, but beware, he isn’t the brightest bulb on the tanning bed.      Virgo (August 23rd – September 2nd) Celebrity Virgo – Niall Horan Niall Horan It’s been quite a tumultuous week for you little Virgo, you made foolish choices during the sales, but fear not, these issues can be resolved if you listen to me! Step one, return those criminal purchases, the shops should be paying YOU to take that crap off their hands. Step 2, never buy anything that hideous again. Step three, book a nice holiday with the money you get from the refunded items. Step four, read about how to get your skin beach ready HERE   Libra (September 23rd – October 22nd)  Celebrity Libra – Will Smith Will Smith red carpet Uranus has been indicting that big changes are on the way for you. I have consulted with the fashion gods and they are best pleased with your fashion choices as of late, a career in fashion might be in the horizon for you if you play your cards right, that’ll stick it to that bitch in accounting that casually throws you filthies every morning. Get inspiration from Victoria Beckham HERE so you can begin your global domination.   Scorpio (October 23 – November 21st) Celebrity Scorpio – Kendall Jenner Kendall Jenner A fashionable drag queen I met over the weekend gave me some advice I will never forgot, she said to me ‘The higher the hair, the closer to heaven’. As I allowed this information to resonate with me, I was left feeling that Scoprio’s, as fabulous as they are, always neglect their hair. I want you to read THIS and take not, or else you will be cursed with 3 months of fashion blunders.    Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st) Celebrity Sagittarius – Taylor Swift Taylor Swift Cover There’s something about a Sagittarius in summer that is a sight to be seen. They have a heightened sense of arousal (gross, I know, but totally natural). So as they scour the high streets looking for fabulous finds, it’s also important to keep the eyes peeled for a man that’s so beautiful, it makes you want to sob quietly into your skinny latter. Lustful Mars has been lurking hot men on Instagram all week and she wants you to find a man like THESE MALE MODELS   Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th) Celebrity Capricorn – Meghan Trainor Meghan trainor In the week that saw everyone celebrate pride, you let yourself down in the fashion stakes. I want you to actually dress like it’s summer for once, fashion conscious Mars has demanded that it’s time you started getting out of your comfort zone. You need to embrace florals, even if it kills you. You don’t to be remembered as that ‘weird emo’ forever.    Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th) Celebrity Aquarius – Shakira Shakira For the love of god, you need to stop taking in stray cats. Your apartment has been infested with flees 3 times since February, I’m pretty sure if you set off another bug bomb in your apartment your actually going to be taken to hospital for pesticide poisoning. Focus your caring nature on your wardrobe, get inspiration from these STYLISH STORES     Pisces (February 19th – March 20th) Celebrity Pieces – Justin Bieber Justin Bieber It’s been a fishy week for you little Pieces, what with getting accidentally punched by a go-go dancer at Gay Pride and they accidentally tripping over a drag queen. You haven’t been feeling great, and that is totally fine and understandable. I want you to relax and watch this FASHION FILM. It will make you feel better, I promise.      Aries (March 21st – April 19th) Celebrity Aries – Kourtney Kardashian Kourtney Kardashian Saturn has noticed that your beauty and attitude are spot on, however, your dress sense has taken a nose dive. You’re naturally hot, but your also naturally a bitch, but you don’t mean to say the things you do, it’s like a compulsion you have. Well honey, if your going to be a hot bitch, then you better start dressing like one. No one’s going to be intimated by a hot bitch in Crocs and camo pants.      Taurus (April 20th – May 20th) Celebrity Taurus – Megan Fox Megan Fox I know a break up hurts, they’re meant to be a tough time for us, this troubling time allows us to grow better as a person and gain a new perspective on life. You went pity shopping, spent a little too much, now you might have to live off baked beans for July (gross). I want you to return everything this week and book a holiday. Uranus has demanded a holiday, so book a trip to somewhere warm and sunny, the local hotties will make you feel much better. Oh and also, stop neglecting your beautiful body and follow BEAUTY TREATMENT before your trip.      Gemini (May 21st – June 20th) Celebrity Gemini – Ashley Olsen  Olsen Twins red carpet Why did you make a fool of yourself, why oh why! Calling out a bitch for being a bitch at a dinner party, just makes the bitch look like the victim. Granted, you’ve never been great around free wine, but my god Gemini! You need an overhaul NOW! I want you to get your revenge through amazing fashion choices. Get inspiration from THESE STYLISH STORES, if you don’t Jupiter will ensure you are punished.   
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