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Fashion Horoscopes

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Mystic Peig had a power meeting with the fashion gods over the weekend and is now ready to dish out fashion advice to the cosmos.  Taurus (April 20th – May 20th)  Celebrity Taurus – Channing Tatum Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.29.59  A summery flower child at heart this recent wet spell has you feeling glum! Resist the urge to turn to the sun beds in this time of grey miserable weather, you don’t want to end up looking like a Bargaintown couch now do you? Go shopping instead, the unnatural lighting and heavy warm air of shopping centres that you usually hate, might just be your saviour this week. As general rule, Taurus’s love clean cuts and effortless minimalism, check out Scandinavian fashion bloggers for inspiration!  Gemini (May 21st – June 20th) Celebrity Gemini – Iggy Azalea Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.32.01 How about instead of being a two-faced Gemini this week you finally get that wardrobe of yours sorted out! There’s nothing glamorous about your ratty maxi you’ve worn to death. Fashionable Pluto began to rise on Sunday, which means you have a heightened sense of fashionability. Take advantage of this planetary advice and hit the shops! Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd)  Celebrity Cancer – Khloe Kardashian Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.36.36 The fashion gods have told me that all Cancers must avoid the colour green at all costs this week, disobey the gods and you will be cursed with three months of fashion blunders. Besides, green was never really your thing, try incorporate more vibrant tones this week. A potential promotion at work could be ruined by chandelier earrings. Be warned! Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd) Celebrity Leo – Jennifer Lopez  Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.37.35 Stylish and single? That might all be about to change, a chance encounter with an old friend at a ‘Save the Rainforest’ charity event might change your life, forever! However, a living room with magnolia wallpaper heralds financial peril. Sassy Saturn has demanded that you finally embrace sheer and ditch your drab winter looks!  Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd)  Celebrity Virgo – Jenna Marbles Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.38.10 Virgo’s are curious by nature, they love bold patterns and bright colours. But honey, that leopard print co-ord with leopard print coat has to go! You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, well the Virgo killed good taste. Venus has DEMANDED that you embrace the all white fashion movement, your new striped back look will dazzle your friends, as well as that man on the Luas you’ve been casually eye banging since December.  Libra (September 23rd – October 22nd)  Celebrity Libra – Tyler Posey Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.39.30 Cursed with a taste of the finer things in life, Libra’s run the risk of financial ruination after every pay day! It’s time to swap the designers for more affordable alternatives, you already have all the high end staples, just accessorise with the more affordable alternatives! An encounter with another Libra could strike up an instant friendship, however, be wary of a Libra wearing Crocs! She will steal your man and kill your cat.  Scorpio (October 23rd – Novermber 22nd) Celebrity Scorpio – Julia Roberts  Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.40.13 As a water sign you usually love being in the presence of water, but not when it’s rain! You simply detest the weather lately, cheer yourself up with a yellow raincoat, the super cute nautical necessity will help you stand out from the other corporate drones. An old office crush recently adopted puppies, they will tug at your heartstrings, but resist at all costs!  Sagittarius (November 23rd – December 22nd)  Celebrity Sagittarius – Nicki Minaj Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.41.04 Your partner’s mother has been giving you grief lately for your fashion choices, but what does she know, she’s had a perm since 2001. Your relationship with her has reached breaking point, you are now at a fork in the road, one road, you freeze her out, never engage with her insults, the other road, you try to win her over one last time. If you choose the latter, take her shopping to a store in which time forgot. Treat her to all the man made fibres and unflattering prints she wants.  Capricorn (23rd December – 19th January)  Celebrity Capricorn – Pitbull Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.42.02 Your work is your life, you pride yourself on your work ethic. However, amidst all of the haze of working hard and meeting deadlines you have majorly neglected your wardrobe. Lucky for you, the preppy trend is here to stay, this versatile look can suit the office or wine bar. So take influence from the likes of Ralph Lauren’s SS15 catwalk looks and you’ll be back on top!  Aquarius (20th January – February 18th)  Celebrity Aquarius – Ellen Degeneres  Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.42.55 Like a swan among pigeons you stand out from the crowd for your grace and poise. But this act has been getting old, no one can be that perfect for so long. It’s time for you to have some fun, let your hair down, buy something playful and outlandish. Your casual/weekend clothes are so boring, they’re indistinguishable from your work wear. Pisces (February 19th – March 20th)  Celebrity Pisces – Ke$ha Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.45.00 AT LAST, precious pisces, you haven’t made a fishy fashion choice once this month. Mystic Peig is pleased, as are the fashion gods! Just don’t get cocky for the love of god, jealous Jupiter is out to get you! Beware of bargain bins that seem too good to be true, they will be your downfall. Take solace in a fashionable Scorpio’s advice, while what they say may sound bitchy, it’s actually just their way of helping.  Aries (March 21st – April 19th) Celebrity Aries – Lady Gaga Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 10.49.01 Oh Aries, why oh why did you make such a blunder! The whole ‘health goth’ look took off like a led balloon and now your left with a wardrobe full of obscure sporty dark clothes. You literally invested all of your money into a trend that lasted about 18 days. Try sell them off on Depop, you won’t get back what you paid for them, but at least you can put some money by for the summer sales. Fortunately for you, sassy Saturn is in full view, which means your financial exchanges and transaction/gambles will be protected for the next month!
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