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The lazy girl’s guide to running a half marathon Vol V

AJ training diary
Tragedy has struck my fledgling running career. In a devastating turn of events, I am currently unable to train. Or even really walk like a human. Which is a bloody shame to be honest, as I was finally starting to get somewhere. Pre-injury, I had completed two additional runs – 6:01k in 40 minutes 5.01k in 32 minutes. Progress. Until the incident. It all started when I was offered a spare ticket to a punk gig in Camden. And, having spent the afternoon on the fizz, I readily accepted. By the time I got there, I was super enthusiastic – ok, drunk – so I danced merrily into the mosh pit of ageing, topless, overweight men. For a nano-second I had a brilliant time, jumping round like a loon and generally giving no shits. I realised my mistake too late, of course – I’m not a mosh pit kind of person. Nowhere near radical enough. I should know this by now. So I panicked and tried to get out of the sweaty, tangled human knot of Johnny Vegas-alikes, when some bastard stamped on my leg. RIGHT ON IT. And so here I am. Leg up at home. Bravely soldiering on like the trooper that I am, bracing for the doctor’s verdict telling me that it’s damaged beyond repair and will require amputation. Or a bandage at the very least. Oooh, maybe I’ll get crutches! I’ve always wanted crutches. It’s all gross and swollen and blossoming into quite a startling array of mermaid hair colours – I suppose the plus side is that I’m bang on trend for SS16. But this is all quite boring. And in no way related to running. So instead of me whining on any longer, here are five things that are more interesting than my disgusting, bruised leg: Pixi Glow Toner – I’m a sucker for a new product and this stuff is amazing. I’m not really sure what toner is, or does, but my face looks less like a wrinkly old testicle than it did last week. Buy it immediately. Lapsley – her album’s gorgeous, modern, ethereal electronica will resonate with anyone who’s been in love. Like a cooler Adele, this very talented young lady is going to be big. The Adidas Tubular Defiant – pure perfection. I am in love with these beautiful new sneaks and as soon as my foot stops being the size of a pumpkin, I’m buying them. Fargo – I know I’m very late to the party, but this is an absolute winner of a series. Insanely, insanely good TV. Crushing hard on Colin Hanks right now. Lucky Santangelo – I’m a huge, huge Jackie Collins fan (RIP Jackie) and have started re-reading all the Santangelo books. I totally want to be Lucky Santangelo when I grow up. Yes, I know she’s not real. How I’m feeling about the run: #prayforAJ

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