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Top 5 Bitches

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The Bureaucratic Bitch Margaret thatcher Habitat: Office and Supermarket Queues Langauge: Speaks in a series of hisses.  Name: Audrey, Alex, Tom, Breda, Bettina.  This pencil pushers is hell bent on ruining your day before she even knew you existed. This breed of bitch takes pleasure in making the public jump through hoops, fill out unnecessary paper work and generally make life difficult for all parties involved. The Bureaucrat Bitch easily identified by their kitten heels, fake collar-jumper combo, conservative coat and hair scraped back into a tight painful bun.    The Young Mum Bitch kourtney kardashian and Scott disick Habitat: School Gate and Shopping Centre Language: Condesending utterances  Name: Carol, Erica, Elodie, Astrid. Swosh, swosh, swosh, pram going 90 mph down the street, if you happen to be in her beeline she will hit your ankles, this act of war will be followed by a passive aggressive apology. This breed of bitch will boast about how much weight she lost or how her children are currently learning Portuguese and Mandarin in pre-montessori. If they don’t make you feel inadequate then they aren’t happy. The Young Mum Bitch constantly has a skinny latte in hand and sunglasses on her head.    The Hot Bitch Denise Richards Habitat: Wine Bar and Beach Language: Bilingual  Name: Freya, Chloe, Samantha, Myles. Unsurprisingly, not that illusive, the hot bitch is an insidious creature, lurking around every corner. The Hot Bitch can be your best friend one minute and your biggest enemy the next. The Hot Bitch gets her life-force from compliments, deny her a compliment and you will starve the already starving beast. A Hot Bitch has had everything in life handed to them on a plate, this means they are notoriously self-entitled, the Hot Bitch is akin to the likes of Denise Richards, their devilishly good looks are enchanting, yet deadly, approach with caution.    The Angry Bitch Naomi Campbell Habitat: Nightclub and Chipper Language: Swear Words Name: Stacey, Sarah, Lauren, Anthony. Cancel the subscription, because I am over your issues, get this bitch to a pharmacy and buy her some Kalms. The Angry Bitch is in a constant state of fury, they’ll go out of their way to start an argument, the chip on their should is so big it could feed a small family. The Angry Bitch is characterised by her hairstyle, they simply can’t resist a viciously tight ponytail aka the Croydon Facelift. With a bark that could strip the paint off a speedboat, this bitch is not one you want to cross. Think Naomi Campbell, Mutya Buena or Vicky Pollard and you have the epitome of the Angry Bitch.    The Basic Bitch  Kirsten wig Habitat: Shopping Centres and Starbucks Language – Derivative of Valley Girl lexicon Name: Ashley, Carley, Andy, Ainesly.  Well, we already know Kate Moss isn’t your biggest fan. The basic bitch is so much bitchy but rather quite painfully dull. Basic Bitch is a pejorative term, used to describe an individual that is cliche, predictable and conformist. While most other people are 60% water, the Basic Bitch is actually 60% vanilla latte, this imbalance in the bloodstream causes them to make foolish decisions. Basic Bitches are characterised by the following; obsession with Marilyn Monroe quotes, Uggs, Bath bombs, abbreviate all known adjectives, Instagram images of Starbucks coffee and kale.     
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